


one constant

by EnRaa



Series: what kind of man...? [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Childhood Trauma, Eventual Romance, F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, Recovery, Sans is Not Okay (Undertale), Timeline Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:14:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27706778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnRaa/pseuds/EnRaa
Summary: The first time he met him, Sans was a kid.After the fifth time, Sans began to number them.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), W. D. Gaster/Sans
Series: what kind of man...? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025469
Comments: 16
Kudos: 34





	1. the first time

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank everyone who responded so positively to "here, waiting for you". I really appreciate your kind words and I'm super glad you all are enjoying this wonky little series. To see everyone so thoroughly enjoying it is really exciting and endearing, so thank you for all the lovely comments <3 
> 
> This might be a little sporadic with updates because I'm NEVER this frequent, but I hope you all enjoy this angsty, fluffy little beast as it unfolds. 
> 
> As it goes on, it will generally be a lot happier, and as a general rule for this series, there will NEVER be a bad Gaster for this Sans, so you never have to worry about any super strong subject matter cropping up in the future.

The first time he met him, Sans was a kid.

His mother was heavy with child, doted on constantly by his father, and that left San to himself a lot. He'd come home from school most days, eat with his parents, and then he'd be on his own for awhile. His parents were by no means neglectful, but rather bearing a second soul had taken a heavy toll on his mother. She was fatigued constantly, and his father kept a near constant eyelight on her.

So, Sans was alone a lot.

It never bothered him, really. Certainly not when he knew he had a brother on the way. He got through most days wondering what he was going to be like, if he was going to be the cool guy, or a complete nerd, or maybe he would be like Sans: The jokester, a class clown that everyone enjoyed the antics of, and while he enjoyed thinking about it, planning all the things they were going to do as his little brother grew up, it only made him all the more anxious for it to be over and done with. His thoughts would only occupy him for so long, and then he was left to find something to distract himself until bedtime.

He spent the majority of his evenings outside, wandering the area around their home, bothering the neighbors with his bad jokes and getting to know his way around. It didn't take long for him to have that down, and he moved on quickly to exploring the entirety of the neighborhood.

His parents never knew he left the yard, but they were so preoccupied that he didn't want to burden them with worrying about him, anyway. He could take care of himself.

It was in the evening, after dinner, when Sans was sitting on a bench in a park not too far from his home. His legs kicked through the air restlessly as he watched monsters pass him by. Some waved, used to seeing him around, and others moved about like he wasn't even there. As he watched them, he wondered what kind of lives they led. Were they rushing off to work, late and fearing for their job? Were they strolling around with their partner, taking in the scenery on a romantic date?

He doubted any of them were doing anything as exciting as he was, waiting for his new brother.

He barely noticed when someone took a seat next to him. When the monster beside him shifted, crossing their legs, he finally spared them a glance, and was met with a face he'd never seen before. He was pretty familiar with most of their neighborhood, but the monster next to him was a complete stranger. Sans watched him, too curious to worry about being rude, as the gangly monster took a book and a pen from a pocket within his jacket and began writing something in it. After a moment, he stopped writing, pausing and staring at his book for a moment, before turning to look down at Sans.

They stared at one another for a long moment, and Sans wondered if he'd caught the other monster off guard. His stare seemed...startled, but in a weird way that Sans couldn't get a good feeling for. He decided to introduce himself. His parents had always taught him that an introduction was important, and so he gave his best smile and held out his hand to the other monster.

“hi mister! i'm Sans!” Sans greeted him cheerfully, and the other monster, a skeleton like himself, cocked his skull at him, eyelights flickering between Sans' hand and his face.

Finally, after what Sans assumed was a ton of deliberation, he reached his own hand, large with thing, long fingers and a hole in the palm, out to take Sans outstretched one. Sans watched with glee as he closed his hand around Sans', and the sound of a deflating whoopee cushion filled the air between them.

Sans' grin was joyous, and the monster stared at him in shock for a moment. And then the shock settled into a smile, and the smile turned into a chuckle. Barely audible, and under his breath, but the monster definitely chuckled as he shook Sans' hand.

“Hello, Sans,” He greeted warmly, a handsome smile on his face. “I'm Gaster.”

Sans pulled the deflated whoopee cushion from his sleeve and stuffed it into his pocket. “you must be new here.” He suggested casually. “it's been a while since we had new neighbors.” Long enough that Sans couldn't remember the last time someone moved into their little community, but the monster, Gaster, shook his skull as he tucked his book back into his coat.

“I'm just passing through, actually.” He clarified, and Sans made a face.

“you're traveling the Underground?” Sans asked skeptically, and Gaster nodded his head. “why would ya wanna do that? it's just a big, long tunnel...”

Shrugging his broad shoulders, Gaster turned his gaze to the monsters walking around them. “Well, the Underground might just be a tunnel in its geographical makeup, but it's rich with culture from our families and ancestors.” He murmured as he watched the monsters bustle around them, and Sans followed his gaze to a set of parents walking with their child, each holding a hand as they swung the youngling between them. “Sometimes it's nice to take a stroll through and see the life buzzing around us. See what we've become...how far we've progressed.”

“i guess so...” Sans agreed dully, watching the child giggle as they were swung back and forth. He wondered briefly if he'd ever be tall enough to do that with his brother. He hoped so.

“So you're all alone here, Sans?” Gaster asked suddenly, turning to look at Sans once more, and Sans nodded his skull.

“yeah,” He kicked his feet a little more aggressively. “i got bored, so i came here. s'not the most interesting place, but it's better than my yard.” He said with a little shrug of his shoulders, and Gaster gave him a look that Sans decided was complicated.

“And your parents don't mind you coming out here alone this late?” The older monster probed, and Sans' grin fell a bit.

“they..." He hesitated for a moment. "they don't know. i don't wanna bother them.” He admitted sheepishly, and Gaster gave him a disapproving frown. “they're busy worrying about my little brother. i can take care of myself.” He'd said it so many times to himself that it rolled out easily. Gaster seemed accepting enough of his answer, and moved on.

“You have a brother?” Gaster asked, and Sans' grin returned full force. He never got enough chances to talk about his brother.

“yeah! he isn't born yet, but he's gonna be here real soon!” He explained excitedly, and Gaster smiled at him when he added, “he's gonna be _so cool_.”

“You seem very excited to meet him.” Gaster observed, and Sans nodded his skull.

“i can't wait! dad said we're very lucky, cause most skeletons' magic is too weak to have more than one child! mom is _so_ strong!”

Gaster's smile weakened for a moment, and Sans decided the monster was probably imagining the strain his mother was enduring. He often felt similarly when he seen his mother so weak. Gaster recovered though, saying smoothly, sincerely, “Well, congratulations to you and your parents. It is a very uncommon, but wonderful accomplishment to have siblings, like your father said.” He added, like an afterthought, “I think you're going to be a good brother.”

Sans gave him a challenging look. “good? i'm gonna be the _best_ brother!” He exclaimed confidently, and Gaster chuckled at him. “just you wait!”

After Gaster composed himself, he gave Sans a contemplative look. “So you're by yourself often, then?” He asked him, and Sans' expression fell, just a tad.

“i guess so...” Sans murmured, and he felt the bitter twinge of sadness claw at him for just a second before he stamped it down again. “just until my brother gets here! then i'll always have someone to play with!” He assured Gaster, and the older monster nodded.

“So what do you do for fun?” The older skeleton asked casually. "I don't see many other children out this late..."

Sans thought about it for a moment before answering. “well, i walk around a lot... sometimes i play with the other kids, but they're not really allowed out this late.”

Gaster hummed. “That must be pretty...boring.”

Sans nodded, resigned. “...yeah, i guess so...” He agreed, and Gaster cocked his skull a bit as he listened.

He perked up suddenly, like an idea struck him, and reached into his coat, taking the book from earlier out. He opened the front cover and removed some papers, folding them and placing them back in his inner pocket, before closing the book and handing it over to Sans. “Here, take this.” He instructed as he plopped the book into Sans' lap. “I think a bright mind like yourself might enjoy it.”

Sans picked it up hesitantly, looking it over. “i...i can't take this! it's yours!” He insisted, pushing it back at Gaster, but the older monster simply shook his skull.

“No, I insist you take it. I've read it far too many times already and it's just weighing me down.” Gaster said with a dismissive wave of his hand, and Sans sighed and accepted his defeat, plopping the book back into his lap and examining the cover. 

It was a large book with a vibrant, eye-catching cover. “i've never heard of physics before...” He remarked as he opened it up, looking at the index. “it looks...interesting.” He decided after a moment of scanning the list. It was beyond him, mostly, but it intrigued him. “i'm gonna start reading it as soon as i get home!” He announced with a grin as he turned back to face Gaster. “thank you, mister Gast-”

The bench was empty save for Sans and his book. 

He looked around, keeping his eyelights peeled for any sign that Gaster had gotten up, walked away. Anything.

“mister Gaster?” Sans called, sliding off the bench to his feet. He walked around the bench, scanning the area for the tall, lanky monster, but found no trace that he'd even been there. If it weren't for the book, Sans would have thought he imagined it.

“huh...guess he had to go...” Sans muttered as he clutched the book to his ribs. He decided it was about time for him to head home anyway, and he gave one last look to the bench.

“i hope i can see you again...”

When he arrived home, his mother gives him a confused look, eyelights zeroing in on the book in his arms.

“Where did you get a book like that, Sans?” She asked politely, but behind her kind tone was a suspicious curiosity, and Sans' father gave a disapproving frown to the book when he noticed it.

“It's awful advanced for you, isn't it?” He added, and Sans shook his skull at them.

“i found it...” He said, easy and casually like all the times he'd told them he never left the premises. He was getting good at it. “someone was throwing it out, and i thought it looked cool.”

His mother mulled over his answer, giving a thoughtful hum. “Hm, well just leave it out and we'll get rid of it if you don't like it.” She decided after a moment, and she beckoned him over with open arms.

He eagerly rushed over to wrap around her. “is he gonna be here soon?” Sans asked as he hugged her, his words muffled into her dress, and his mother gave him a fond smile as she nodded her skull.

“Any day now,” She assured him, petting over his skull gently. Sans grinned up at her.

“I can't wait for him to be born just so Sans will calm down,” His father chuckled. “He must be awful _bone_ -ly to be this excited.”

Sans turned to his father, a mischievous glint in his eyelights. “hey, i'm just looking for a _kin_ -dred spirit!”

“Stars, the two of you are bad!” Sans' mother chuckled as she turned Sans toward the hallway. “Go get cleaned up for bed, mister. I can't take any more of your combined jokes!”

Sans muttered, “fine...”, as he made his way towards his room. He hugged his book to his chest, eager to break into it before bed.

He spent a lot of time at the library. His father had been right: The book was really advanced.

So, every time Sans ran into something he couldn't wrap his skull around, he'd go find a book about it and fill in the gap. It was working well for him, even if it was time consuming. He'd easily burned through the first fourth of the book, but the further in he got, the more help he needed. He had a lot of time to kill most days, so it made it a lot easier to pass the time engrossing himself in the gift Gaster had left him.

His mother had dusted when Papyrus was born. The strain on her soul was too much, and it took all of her magic to give birth to him. Without a mother's magic to build up his own, Papyrus was kept with a healer and his father at the Capitol's university.

Sans hadn't met his brother yet, and he hadn't really seen his father since he'd rushed his mother to the healer. A neighbor had come over to the house and told him to pack a bag for a few days, that he would be staying with them until his father could take Papyrus home.

The next day, she told him about his mother, and seemed perfectly understanding when he stayed holed up in the spare room for a couple of days.

Weeks passed, and he tried not to think about how much he missed his family. He buried himself in his schoolwork, in his new physics book, anything that kept him so busy that he barely noticed how long he'd been away from them.

His neighbor was kind, always asking him if he needed or wanted anything, and he tried to be as unobtrusive as possible. He'd gotten good at it in the weeks that led up to Papyrus, so it was easy to fall back into routine.

More than once, he found himself wondering where Gaster had gone that day. It had been like he'd disappeared without a trace. Sans wondered if he had an important place to be. He seemed like an important monster, so Sans decided he probably had something big to do. He wished he had stuck around. Sans knew it was selfish, but he felt like he could talk to Gaster. He _wanted_ to talk to Gaster, who was all kind, handsome smiles and sincerity. He wanted so badly to talk about how much he missed his mother, how much it hurt that he'd never see her again, and how he still wanted to meet Papyrus.

But, he wasn't here, and all Sans had was the book.

So, Sans pushed everything else to the back of his mind, and he immersed himself.

When his father arrived with Papyrus, it felt like his soul was going to burst out of his rib cage. His family, what was left of it at least, was home. His father leaned down and plopped a mass swaddled in thick blankets into his arms.

He looked tired, more so than Sans had ever seen him before, and his bones were a sickly grey.He knew that his father was a wreck, probably tired from all of Papyrus' treatments...

When Sans looked down at the blankets, looking right back up at him were massive, bright orange eyelights.

In Sans' opinion, they were the cutest he'd ever seen.

He gently nudged the blanket away from Papyrus' face, and a little fist reached out, grabbing onto his phalange with a grip far too tight for any babybones to possess. Sans looked at the little fist holding onto his finger, and then back at Papyrus, who was looking up at him with a happy, goofy smile, and he murmured out a shy, “h-hey, bro...”

Papyrus wriggled excitedly in his arms, squeezing his phalange tighter and making a delighted little grunting noise, and Sans smiled for the first time in what felt like ages. He looked up excitedly, eager to show his father that without even really trying, Papyrus already liked him!

But his face fell as his eyelights fell upon the pile of dust in the doorway.

His neighbor told him later that his father had died of a broken soul, that he'd missed his wife so much that he'd dusted with her. It meant little to Sans. They were gone, and the why wasn't making it any easier.

He had Papyrus to worry about, now, and he was all his little brother had left.

Papyrus was all _he_ had left...

His neighbor had managed to convince the school to let Sans do his work at home. While he'd always been bright, all the extra studying he'd been doing had paid off, and he could do most of his work effortlessly with Papyrus sitting in his lap. For the more demanding projects, his little brother was delightfully easy to entertain, and Sans made sure he had a stockpile of educational games and puzzles for Papyrus to amuse himself with. He'd done some light reading so he could tailor them to his brother's development level, and he'd found Papyrus' favorite were the ones that required the most work. He could keep the babybones entertained for hours with a couple of shape puzzles of various difficulties, and the best part was that he always solved them.

Sans was proud of his little brother. He knew he'd be perfect.

His neighbor visited them frequently. At Sans' insistence, he and Papyrus remained in their family home. After all he'd lost, he couldn't bear to lose the last bit of familiarity he had left, and she'd been very understanding about that. So she did what she could for them, cooking for Sans, keeping a stockpile of formulas for Papyrus at the ready, tidying up when Sans was too busy to.

When he was particularly swamped, she'd leave him a few meals that could be heated up at a moment's notice.

He tried not to feel guilty about throwing most of them out. His appetite wasn't what it used to be.

At night, he slept on his side with Papyrus tucked under his ribs. He refused to leave him in the nursery when thoughts of reaching into the crib to find a small, infant-sized pile of dust made him so anxious and sick that he'd start to hyperventilate.

It was easier not to leave Papyrus alone overnight, and his little brother didn't seem to mind anyway. Papyrus slept soundly and happily tucked against him, and if that's what it took to keep him sane, it was a small price to pay.

Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep right away, Sans would read part of his physics book aloud, and just hearing his voice seemed to lull his little brother to sleep.

Those nights, with the book fresh on his mind, he dreamed of Gaster.

Gaster sweeping him up, assuring him that he was a good brother, that he was doing a good job, lifting the weight from his shoulders.

He didn't know why he dreamed about him. He met him once, but the man stuck with him so vividly. Sans eventually chalked it up to meeting him just as everything went so horribly wrong. Gaster was the last thing Sans had enjoyed before Papyrus, so he fixated on it, craved it.

The answer was good enough that Sans could stop thinking about it for a little while, and that was usually all he needed.


	2. twice is coincidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Sans turned back to the doorway, Gaster was gone.
> 
> This time, it didn't bother him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And everything is starting to get a little bit happier here! I'm so sorry to everyone I made so sad in the first chapter! It's all nicer things from now on :) 
> 
> One thing I will note is that time goes by SO FAST when you write. I'll look at a clock after what feels like a half an hour and it's been like two hours and I'm just THROWN. I've never had this with my other works and I'm just floored.

The first time Sans told Papyrus a joke, Papyrus gave him a pained frown. While he was sure that the babybones had no clue what he was saying, he could tell when his craft needed improvement.

“gotcha. fell a little flat, huh?” He asked his brother, and Papyrus gurgled at him. It wasn't much of an answer, but Sans was getting pretty good at sleuthing out what his brother was trying to tell him. Or, he was really bad at it, and was having fun putting words in his mouth. Either way, Papyrus didn't mind.

“maybe it needs more _body_ , a little _backbone_.” He added, and Papyrus whined at him impatiently. “no? you think i should keep it more... _skeletal_? _Bare-boned_?”

His brother opted for a different approach then, which was distraction. Papyrus was so young and already knew exactly how to derail Sans' thoughts as he reached his arms up eagerly, grunting for Sans to pick him up.

And Sans happily complied, because there was little he loved more than spoiling his little brother, and Papyrus looked around excitedly at all the new things he could see up higher. Sans pressed his teeth to Papyrus' skull as the babybones looked around, hugging him tighter to his ribs.

Despite his world falling apart around him, the center of it was still perfect.

“Sans, dear, you're not eating enough.” His neighbor, Dina, insisted, but Sans shrugged it off nonchalantly.

“i snack throughout the day.” He tried, but she didn't buy it and her frown deepened. “what? you don't know what i do and don't eat.” Sans grumbled with a sigh, and her frown turned sympathetic.

“But I know from experience that when your bones start looking this dull that there's nothing good coming.” The reptilian monster said with a pained expression, and Sans didn't have to think about it too long to know she was talking about his father days before he dusted.

“i just...” He fidgeted with his hoodie. “i'm not hungry. there's too much to do and i don't want to eat...” He admitted, and he winced when it was finally out in the air.

“Oh, Sans,” Dina wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close. It reminded him, painfully, of the hugs his mother used to give him, only a little more scaly, and he tried not to stiffen up or cringe away from it. “All you had to say was that you're overwhelmed! I'll come around more often. I thought giving you some space would be better since you were so adamant about it, but I'll make sure to be more present for you.” She assured him, kind and sincere and just _too nice_.

“we're not your problem though.” He blurted out, not really meaning to sound so rude, but he knew it probably came off as such. He just couldn't wrap his skull around her affection.

He knew her his whole life, but she didn't have to take care of them! She didn't have to burden herself when Sans could step up.

She gave him a patient look, and Sans felt like she could see right through him. “You're so mature for your age, Sans...” She observed, kneeling down so they were level. “You need to be a kid, right now. You don't get to do that again.” Dina instructed softly, rubbing a scaly hand over his skull. “Your father never asked me to watch you to begin with, I volunteered. And when he... When you and Papyrus were alone, I wasn't left with instructions to watch over you.” She explained, her tone gentle, and Sans frowned up at her like she'd given him the biggest puzzle in the world.

She gave him a kind smile. “You're a good kid, Sans. A bright kid. And I want to make sure that this world doesn't beat you down with everything it's throwing at you. You and Papyrus are going to be great monsters someday, but you can't do it alone. It's not fair for you to do it alone when there are people who care about you.”

He leaned forward and buried his head into her shoulder, but he knew she could tell he was crying even if he tried to hide it. She was very observant. Sometimes he hated it. “i just....” Sans' shoulders shook as he tried to stifle down the oncoming hiccups and sobs. “i'm scared... i'm scared of losing _everyone_... if you get too close...you might....” It broke free, unfortunately, and he ended up sobbing into her shoulder.

Dina curled around him tighter. “Sans, sweetie, you're not _cursed_! Tragedy took your parents, but it wasn't because you loved them! It wasn't because they were your family!” She assured him, and he wanted badly to believe her. Logically he knew that, but he felt...

Vulnerable. Alone.

Abandoned.

“Your mother...it was always a possibility that her soul wouldn't be able to handle Papyrus, but she wanted him so badly that she didn't care if it meant the worst.” Dina recalled, rubbing his back soothingly. “And she was exceptionally tough: From what Dr. Gaster at the university said, a skeleton shouldn't have been able to even carry a second child that long!”

It took a moment for her words to seep in, but when it finally clicked, Sans shot up, swallowing down his sobs as he looked up at her with wide eyelights. “Gaster?” He sniffled, and she gave him a confused look.

“Yes, Dr. W. D. Gaster, from the university.” She elaborated slowly. “You probably recognize his name from the paper. He's making quite a few waves at the Capitol and King Asgore is really considering him for the Royal Scientist position.” She informed him, and Sans felt his soul clench at even a taste of information that Gaster was _real_ , that he wasn't just some crazy figment of Sans' imagination.

Sans shook his skull. “no, i met him...” He murmured, mulling over the new information. Gaster was a famous doctor in the Capitol.

“You met him!?” Dina exclaimed. “How? _When_? He rarely comes out of the Capitol!”

A reclusive doctor in the Capitol, he noted.

“at the park...a few days before mom...” Sans said slowly, recounting the day. He did that a lot, mostly because he kept getting stuck on _how had he gotten out of there_...? He looked over at the table, where he'd been hammering out a chapter in the book. “he gave me that book. said he was travelling the Underground...”

Dina's sharp, amber eyes followed his gaze to the mess of papers and books on the table, and at the center of the mess, the physics book. “Mm,” She hummed thoughtfully. “I don't doubt he knows a brilliant mind when he meets one!” She announced happily. “What great timing, though! He would have gotten back just in time to help Papyrus!”

Sans cocked his skull. “he helped Pap?” He asked slowly, and like a switch, all the frustration he'd had over the monster leaving without even a goodbye that day, leaving the mystery of how he had just _disappeared_ , was erased, and in its wake, relief.

Relief that if he did leave, it was so that Papyrus could be with Sans now.

She nodded her head. “Yes, he was able to transfer your father's magic into Papyrus' soul so it was strong enough to go on without a mother's magic.” She explained, and Sans stared up in disbelief. “A baby monster needs its mother to feed their magic into their souls after birth for a few hours, but when the mother isn't able, the child usually can't go on.”

“so...” Sans said slowly. “he saved Papyrus' life?” It almost seemed too good to be true, but Sans had gotten the impression that Gaster was important, and if being a hero wasn't important, he didn't know what was.

It all seemed perfect...gift-wrapped, but Sans couldn't deny he was glad that it turned out how it did.

“He did. Your father was prepared for the worst, but the healer was a colleague of Gaster's and took your father and Papyrus to his university. It was the first time a newborn had survived their mother in the entire history of the Underground.”

Sans stared at Dina as he took in all the information. Gaster had met him that night, had even made a face when he learned his mother was baring a second child, and had managed to get back to the Capitol in time to save his brother, who he'd learned about from Sans just days before.

It seemed so...surreal. It was like it was fate, meant to be that he'd met him. It left him feeling light-headed, trying to piece it all together.

“Sans, honey, are you okay? You're really quiet.” The reptile remarked softly after a moment, and Sans nodded his skull, a little stiffly.

“yeah...yeah i just...didn't expect that...” He admitted, still awe-struck. “it's...really cool.”

She smiled at him. “I'm guessing by that look you found yourself a modern hero, hm?” She asked playfully, and Sans' shoulders fell.

Did he? It was all too weird for him to make up his mind. He wanted to be happy that the man he'd been so enthralled with, with his mystery and his book, had been in just such perfect positioning to be the shoulder for Sans to rest on that day _and_ save his beloved brother.

His only family left.

“i..guess so...”

He found himself inspired. The longer he thought about it all, the less it made sense, but he was willing to deny himself a true answer if it meant he could focus on more important things. He poured over his book, making progress faster than he ever had. It was like he was ignited, and every time Papyrus was napping or he had a few minutes to himself, he was back at it.

After their talk, he allowed his neighbor to step in a little bit more. He knew eventually, running himself ragged would end up hurting Papyrus by extension, and that hurt him more than any self-inflicted neglect ever would. So little by little, he loosened his grip on the reigns.

She was so patient, so supportive of him as he made such small steps to letting her in, and never once did she try to rush him. He gained a new appreciation for her and her kindness as he stumbled through his mental mess.

His biggest accomplishment was letting her babysit while he went to the library. He couldn't focus the whole time he was there, dreading something bad would be awaiting him as soon as he arrived home, but he stayed long enough to check out some new material he knew he wouldn't be able to progress without, and Dina had _insisted_ he take some time to himself, so he allowed the trip to be just that.

While it had been horribly anxiety-inducing, he knew it would be good for him to prove to himself that nothing was going to happen. Dina was good to them. She cared about them. He knew she'd let nothing happen to Papyrus. He knew it, and he just needed to prove to himself that relying on her, even just a little bit, wasn't going to be a fatal mistake.

It was hell, and he couldn't conceal his eagerness to get home. His pace crept into jogging territory as he approached their home, and when he arrived, he tried to be subtle as he rushed in, desperate to find what had gone wrong.

What he found was Papyrus at the kitchen table, drawing away with some crayons Dina had scavenged from the dump, while their scaly neighbor was cooking.

It was so...normal. So safe.

If Dina noticed him slump down in the next room, relief literally flooring him, she didn't comment, and Sans appreciated that. He let himself breathe, let himself accept that he'd left, and Papyrus was okay. He was safe and alive and perfect.

Just like he'd left him.

When he'd composed himself, he made his way into the kitchen, and Dina patted his skull affectionately as he walked past her to the table. He gave her a thankful smile, for being so patient with him more than anything, and she gave him a kind smile in return.

“smells good!” He commented casually, taking a seat next to Papyrus' high chair and grinning broadly when his little brother squealed happily, reaching out excitedly for him. Sans leaned over and hugged the little babybones. “hey, bro,” He greeted him warmly, kissing his forehead, and Papyrus cooed contentedly. “how was he?”

He knew the answer already, but he always made it a point to ask. Papyrus was a great infant, barely any trouble at all, and it was always a pleasure to watch over him.

“Well, I've been doing some reading about baby skeletons, and I've learned that pasta is a great food to start them with since it's so soft. Since all his bones, teeth included, are still hardening, he needs soft foods and formula.” She explained, and Sans hummed.

He remembered his mother gave him hot cereal a lot. It was the only soft thing she'd tried that he'd eat, but Sans didn't see the allure as he got older. He would've preferred spaghetti.

“has he tried any, yet?” Sans asked curiously, and Dina gave the pictures on the table a very pointed look. Sans picked one up to inspect it, and he couldn't stop the ugly, abrupt laugh that erupted when he saw all the little crude sketches of spaghetti.

“He's obsessed.” She said with a shake of her head. “He would have eaten it til he burst!”

Sans chuckled and turned to Papyrus. “i guess you really wanted to eat yourself fu _sili_!” He grinned, and Papyrus groaned and slumped down into his highchair, frowning at him. “oh, come on bro, i tortellini nailed that one!”

Papyrus gave him an exhausted look and Sans made a show of sighing at him. “fine, fine. i guess these jokes _are_ a little _saucy_.”

Dina giggled at that one, and Sans grinned even broader. “Alright, mister, how about saving some for after you eat?” She said as she plopped a plate down in front of him.

Sans wove some of the pasta around his fork and popped it in his mouth. “okay, one more?” He asked pleadingly, and Dina nodded, resigned, as she took her seat with her own plate.

“Alright, go ahead.” She said, crossing her arms and waiting expectantly.

“this spaghetti is so good, it's pre- _pasta_ -rous!” He announced happily, and Dina groaned.

“Okay, okay! Eat your dinner!”

Somehow, by some divine fate, Gaster had managed to be the one to save Papyrus' life. He saw something in Sans that made him think Sans was worth introducing to his world, to his work, and it made something stir in Sans that he hadn't really felt since his parents made of him for acing his first test.

Gaster thought he was worth... _something_. He gifted him the book, knowing Sans would be interested, and that he could understand it, and Sans decided that it all had a purpose. Then the gangly monster saved his brother, and now Sans' was at a loss with what to do with all that information.

While he could chalk it all up to some insane coincidence, his gut told him there was something more to it all. And really, how would he get answers if he just pushed it aside and waited? Sans wanted to do something, anything to get to the bottom of it all. More than that, he wanted to feel like he was worthy of what Gaster seen in him.

He wanted to be better. He wanted to be something Papyrus could look up to. He wanted Dina to see her patience and her efforts weren't wasted on him. He wanted to prove Gaster right, that igniting this path for Sans was worth it.

Sans didn't know where this path would lead him, but he knew it was where he wanted to be right now, and he knew it might lead him to answers. 

While Sans tried hard to work on his separation anxiety with Papyrus, he knew that leaving Papyrus home every time he left wasn't the answer. So, he took Papyrus with him to the library or the shops sometimes, when it was convenient.

Being a babybones, he attracted a lot of attention from older monsters, and Papyrus _loved_ it. Being the center of attention suited him, and Sans felt like each time his brother cooed and snuggled up with one of the townsfolk, he was bearing witness to a big piece of who Papyrus' might become.

He leaned his bet heavily on the cool guy everyone would love.

Luckily, his brother was consistently very good when they went on outings. He never fussed, never threw tantrums. The worst he'd act up is pawing at Sans so he'd show his little brother what he was doing. At the library, there was always a stash of new puzzles for him to work on, so he happily would sit in Sans' lap and play with the puzzle while Sans perused through material.

He'd just finished copying some notes from a book when he caught sight of a very familiar black coat over at the “Science and Technology” shelf, and he suddenly felt like he was on autopilot as he scooped up Papyrus and slowly walked over.

“...G-Gaster?” He asked slowly, unsure why his nerves were suddenly failing him, but he pushed on anyway. The tall monster startled and looked down at Sans.

“Oh, I'm sorry, little one! I hadn't seen you the-” After a moment of looking at Sans something seemed to visibly click, and his expression turned to surprise. “Sans, is that you?”

Had they met a couple of weeks earlier, Sans might've understood Gaster's confusion when he looked like he was ready to dust, but he thought he'd made a fair comeback. But, he decided to have mercy on the monster, who probably met dozens of new people every single day. “uh, yeah... from the park.” He reminded him gently, and Gaster seemed even more confused than he started.

“The park...?” He parroted under his breath, and realization came over him as he looked back down at Sans. “Ah...yes. The..park.” He said slowly, like he was saying it for the first time. “I've been so busy, I almost forgot! Thank you for that reminder!”

If he had've been a more paranoid person, Sans might've thought he was acting suspicious, but he knew Gaster was a busy monster, so he let it slide. It was one meeting, anyway. "i uh...i just wanted to thank you for saving Papyrus... you saved him after my mom dusted, and i wouldn't have him if you hadn't stepped in...” Sans shifted his brother in his arms, and Papyrus eagerly reached for Gaster with grabby hands.

A third hand seemed to appear from nowhere, matching one of Gaster's own lanky, pale hands perfectly, and it patted Papyrus on the skull. “Yes, I remember that week...it was truly tragic, what happened, and I heard the father-” He suddenly caught himself, looking down at Sans with a horrified expression as he realized what Sans had told him. “Oh, Sans, I'm so sorry!” He murmured as he dropped down so they were level. He stroked a hand over Sans' back as he said sadly, “They were _your parents_... I never realized...”

Sans gave him a somber smile. He was adjusting. “i'd have no one if you hadn't done what you did, though. so..thank you.”

Papyrus snatched the hand on his skull and cradled it to his chest, playing with the phalanges. Gaster gave the babybones a fond smile and used one of the free digits to tap him on the nasal ridge, igniting a fit of giggles from Papyrus. “Well, I wish I could have done more. I can't imagine what you've gone through...” He admitted softly, and Sans gave him a grin, though he wasn't sure how nice it looked with how dismal the conversation left him.

“i'm just glad you were there. and that you got to officially meet Papyrus after i told you so much about him!” He said with a shrug, and Gaster smiled softly at him.

“He's a lovely child, and I'm sure you're a wonderful brother to him, Sans.” He lifted the hand from Sans' back to pat his skull, and Sans smirked at him.

“like i said, i'm the best brother.” He assured him, and Gaster chuckled at him.

“I have no doubt about that.” His eyelights flickered to the table Sans had been working at. “What are you working on? A school project?” He asked curiously, although from the way his gaze narrowed as he took in some of the contents on the table, Sans guessed he recognized a few of the books. One of them he surely recognized.

“i'm working on the book you gave me!” Sans clarified happily, proudly, and Gaster's expression turned curious.

“The book...?” Sans pointed to the physics book in the middle, and Gaster turned back to him, a look of disbelief in his eyelights. “You're that far through it?” He asked incredulously, and Sans shrunk a little.

“is that...bad?” Sans asked meekly, and Gaster chuffed out a laugh.

“Bad? Sans, that's...unbelievable.” He got to his feet and walked over to the table, taking in all of Sans' notes and his observations. “You understand what's in that book already?” He asked slowly, and Sans followed him over to the table.

“yeah, i mean i needed a little help from some other books at first, but i got it.” Sans said with a shrug, and Gaster stared at him for a moment. “it's really fun to think about, the further i get, especially when you get to the part where they introduce quantum mechanics...i think i like that most, actually.”

“Sans...this is a university level book...” Gaster said slowly. “You know that, right?”

Sans frowned. “no...i didn't actually." He said simply. He really hadn't bothered to look into what kind of book it was. "That actually explains why my parents thought i wouldn't be able to read it... but you gave it to me, so i guess you knew deep down i could do it, right?” He added cheerfully, and Gaster shook his skull.

“I...guess I did... I'm...very impressed, Sans.” He said slowly, and that sincere tone he used was more exciting for Sans than Gaster's words were. “I always knew you were...astoundingly bright, but I never knew you were capable of _this_...”

He'd been praised before. By his parents, by Dina, his teachers, but something about Gaster praising him made him feel truly _proud,_ like he'd accomplished something great. He smiled, probably as happy as he'd been since he was a babybones, himself. “thank you for the book! It's actually helped me-...well, it got me through a lot of stuff lately.” He admitted, and Gaster gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Well, I'm happy to see you're enjoying it so much. And I'm glad it's helped you.” He said gently.

Papyrus yawned, quite dramatically, from Sans' arms, breaking them from their conversation as they looked down to watch Papyrus hug the hand Gaster had summoned for him tightly to his chest, huddling into Sans for a nap.

Sans chuckled. “heh, guess i'd better get you back home for a nap, huh bro?” He said affectionately, and he managed to tactfully wiggle the construct out of Papyrus' arms. He stared at it for a moment before awkwardly holding it out to Gaster. “can i give you a _hand_ with anything?”

Gaster chuckled under his breath as he dismissed the magic. “I've truly missed your jokes...” He remarked fondly, and Sans grinned, feeling his skull heat up in a blush.

“you'd be the only one.” He said with a chuckle as he set Papyrus up in his carrier. “i've got a neighbor who'd scruff you for encouraging me like that!”

“Well, they've got no sense of humor, then.” Gaster said decidedly, gathering up Sans' notes for him and placing them neatly into his book. “Are you alright to carry all of this home? Do you want me to help you?” He asked courteously, and Sans shook his head.

“nah, i'm used to much worse. besides, i'm sure you've got places to be, being a doctor!” Sans suggested, and Gaster gave him that complicated look. Sans briefly wondered what triggered it, but he brushed it off after a moment. He packed his books up and picked up Papyrus' carrier.

“I suppose so. Well, have a safe trip home then, Sans. It was a pleasure seeing you.” He said as he walked with Sans to the doors, and propped one of them open for Sans to step through.

“thanks, Gaster! i'm really glad i got to see you, today. i hope we get to meet again soon!” Sans said, trying in vain to hide his excitement, and Gaster gave him a fond smile.

A hand constructed in front of him, cupping his mandible for a moment as Gaster said, “I, too, hope we meet again soon, Sans...” It reached up to pet his skull before hovering in front of him while dissipated.

When Sans turned back to the doorway, Gaster was gone.

This time, it didn't bother him so much.

He still dreamed of Gaster, some nights. The dreams felt a lot more...happy. He dreamed of working with Gaster, designing large, complicated machinery that the Underground excitedly cheered over. He dreamed of reviewing blueprints and running calculations, of labs and stale coffee.

He liked those dreams the most.

After those dreams, he'd wake happy and feeling invigorated, inspired to work towards a future as lovely as Gaster being proud of him while they make the Underground better.


	3. Three is a habit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd been finishing up a report from a test he'd ran when the air around him suddenly felt off.
> 
> Charged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work has been hectic as hell as we move our store and I've been busting to get back to this since it's so enjoyable to write. I kinda died the last couple days, I'd get like a couple of paragraphs and that was it until today, unfortunately. Work is gonna go tits up on the 3rd since we have no staff and we'll have 2 stores all of December, so updates might drastically slow until I acclimate to whatever mess is on the way. 
> 
> I'm still really stoked that you guys are enjoying this so thoroughly! I love reading your reactions to certain aspects and plot points and just seeing you all so into it makes this so much more fun. Thank you all for your lovely words and thanks for reading :) <3

Dina had insisted after the first year Sans had stuck with his new interest that they revamp his father's garage into a workshop dedicated to Sans' work. 

They spent a week cleaning it out and ferrying a lot of the old junk to the dump, and soon it was filled with whiteboards and stationary and all the books Sans had come to collect so far....which was a lot.

It really felt like his.

Despite turning it into his own little paradise though, he always kept a spot open for Papyrus. 

Oftentimes his little brother would insist on them being attached at the hip, which Sans never bothered to correct, so he made sure he had a section of the garage outfitted with puzzles and playthings so his brother could enjoy his time in there. Most of the time, Papyrus just wanted to watch Sans work on something, and despite not knowing anything about the work, he always offered to help. Sans got into color-coded notes just so Papyrus could pass him certain pens.

Having a dedicated workspace had really improved his productivity. Whenever he could get time, he'd hole up and do some calculations. Since Dina had Papyrus for the evening playing a board game, he took the time to work on a little project he'd been tinkering with all week. He'd been finishing up a report from a test he'd ran when the air around him suddenly felt off.

Charged.

Swinging around in his chair, Sans was met with a monster he was beginning to become very, very familiar with.

Something was different about him, though. Gaster's coat spread out almost... _liquidly_ on the concrete below him, and after a moment of observation, Sans came to the realization that it was a weird, black goop.

"clean up on aisle three...?" Sans joked uneasily, and the monster swung around to face him. His body moved fluidly, like he was made of the goop clinging to him. Abruptly, his spindly hand reached out and grabbed Sans' own, splashing the black muck everywhere, and Sans gasped sharply, asking in a panicked voice, "Gaster, what happened? are you okay?"

The monster slumped closer, looming over him. "...Sans?" He asked, voice a little slower, a little rougher than it had been when Sans had talked to him before. "...is that you?" He seemed worn down, his normal charm and pep sapped from him, and Sans nodded slowly, carefully, as he peered up into Gaster's weak, purple eyelights.

"yeah, it's me, Gaster..." Sans murmured softly, feeling a wicked sense of deja vu, and the monster dropped his arms like he'd been scalded. Sans reached out, running his fingers through the slick, black goop pretending to be Gaster's coat. It clung to his phalanges stubbornly, but he paid it no mind, reaching out to grab one of Gaster's hands instead. He tugged the lanky monster over to a chair and gestured to the seat expectantly.

"Sans...I'm not so sure...I might ruin it-" Gaster protested, but Sans tapped his foot impatiently. The monster got the hint and took a seat, and the way he deflated as he sat down left Sans with the idea that the older monster might've gone through some nasty things since they'd last met.

Funny he hadn't heard about it in the news. The news loved Gaster.

Sans wheeled his own chair over and hopped up into it so they were facing one another. "what's going on, Gaster?" Sans asked him, and Gaster gave him a conflicted look. "you look like...well..." Sans searched for the words, for kinder words, really, but he didn't really know how to say Gaster looked like he melted. He figured that Gaster got the idea, and that was solidified when Gaster winced and shrank under Sans' gaze.

"I'd hoped you'd never see me like this..." Gaster muttered shamefully.

Sans didn't really know what to say to console him, since he obviously knew how bad it was. He opted to just ask what was really on his mind. "what _is_ this? i've never seen anything like this! are you sick? do you need a doctor?" He demanded, and Gaster slowly shook his skull no. Sans' shoulders slumped in relief as he took in the monster's state.

"The void... I was in it too long..." Gaster recounted bitterly. "I didn't learn that I could leave until it was too late...it had already started absorbing me-"

"the _void_?" Sans interrupted, sockets widening as he stared at the other monster incredulously. "you were in _the void_?" He sat back in his chair, staring at Gaster in disbelief. "how did you even-" He stopped himself, because that wasn't what was important. "how can we fix this?" He asked instead, and Gaster's eyelights shot up to meet his.

"Fix it...?" He murmured slowly, then frowned. "We can't fix this, Sans..." Gaster scoffed, and Sans scowled at him.

Almost everything could be fixed that wasn't dust, Sans knew. "have you _tried_? you won't know if you don't even attempt-" Sans began, but Gaster cut him off.

"I can't work from the void, Sans..." The older monster leaned forward, lifting a spindly hand to stroke over Sans' mandible, just like Sans' remembered him doing at the library so long ago. "It's a nice gesture though... Thank you for worrying about me." Gaster said sincerely, eyelights soft as he looked down at him, and Sans reached up and held the hand as he pressed into it, noting how cold and just _not right_ it felt.

"it's not just a gesture and you know it! you came to my workshop so i could help you, right?" He suggested eagerly, and Gaster gave him a confused look before suddenly looking around him, still looking just as confused.

"Hm, I hadn't realized I wasn't back in the labs...I just assumed..." He murmured, more to himself it seemed, as he took in the room around him. Sans frowned.

"you didn't mean to come here...?" Sans asked, a bit dejectedly. Gaster shook his skull, his own frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, and Sans gave him a perplexed look. "so then how did you end up here if you didn't _mean_ to end up here?"

Gaster gave a slow, fluid shrug of his shoulders. "This is the timeline I landed in, this time..." He said, his tone heavy with resignation. "I don't know _why here_ , in your workshop...but I landed here..." He gave a heavy sigh, a tired smile making its way onto his face. "But I'm glad I did..."

Sans tried to wash down the bitter sense of helplessness and defeat. "alright, fine. you said you can't work from the void? then tell me about it. i'll take some notes and we'll figure out what's going on!" He suggested, and Gaster cocked his skull a bit.

"Sans, I don't think-" He began, but Sans shook his skull.

"no. no, i wanna help. you've helped me so much, and i want to help _you_ , now." Sans insisted, swinging his chair around to his desk so he could grab a notepad.

In typical Gaster fashion, Sans was alone when he swung back around.

This time, however, he heard the door swing closed.

He spent a lot of the time searching for Gaster wondering how to apologize for pushing too far. Sans understood how scary the road to recovery was, and he understood why Gaster might be scared to find out what really went wrong.

Sans just wanted him to know that he was there for him. That Gaster wasn't alone dealing with whatever mess he'd gotten himself into.

That whenever he was ready, Sans would do whatever he had to...

He wandered into a shop, intent on grabbing a snack before he kept searching. When he swung the door open, he spotted the shopkeep watching their TV screen intently.

"Oh hey, Sans! C'mon over and watch this! It's a live broadcast of Gaster's promotion to Royal Scientist!" They exclaimed excitedly, and Sans' face twisted into a confused frown.

"w...what?" He murmured as he stepped further into the shop, eyelights immediately darting to the TV. Confusion settled like a heavy fog in his skull as he watched Gaster, not grey and sickly and gooey like he'd been just a few hours before, but prim and proper with stark white bones and his handsome face, give a lovely speech about his future plans for research concerning the Underground.

Any other time, Sans might excitedly watch it and think about how someday he could fit into those plans and help Gaster.

Instead, Sans watched numbly, barely taking in any of the doctor's words as he pondered if he was going nuts.

It was a live feed. Gaster was perfectly fine.

But he'd been in Sans' workshop.

"Sorry, I'm kind of ignoring you! Whatcha looking for, Sans?" The shopkeep asked politely, and Sans sighed heavily. Suddenly, he didn't feel very hungry anymore...

"...i just came to get some candy for Papyrus."

Out of habit, he found himself wandering over to the same park, stars, even the same bench he'd been when he first met Gaster. He went there often. He supposed he romanticized it a bit, since he'd had such an important part of his life happen there, but he just felt at ease when he sat there.

Lo and behold, he spotted his rogue, gooey Gaster as he arrived, sat in that same bench, hunched over with his skull in his hands as he stared dismally into the empty park.

He walked over to the bench and took a seat, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Gaster turned to him, looking guiltier than a thief caught red-handed, and Sans just flashed him a grin.

"hey G...i'm sorry..." He said sincerely, and Gaster's expression turned to one of pure confusion.

"You're....You're _sorry_?" Gaster asked him incredulously. "I leave your workshop, so rudely, without even a goodbye, and _you're sorry_?" The older monster huffed a laugh. "Sans, you've nothing to apologize for. I should be the one-"

"i'm sorry for pushing you." Sans blurted out, effectively cutting the other monster off. "i'm sorry that when you needed me to just be there, i focused on what probably scared you most. i'm sorry..."

Gaster stared down at him, his eyelights soft as he shifted so he could reach a hand up to pet over Sans' skull. "Sans, it's not that I don't want to fix this... It's that you shouldn't have to burden yourself with this when I brought this on myself." Gaster explained, and Sans leaned over so he was pressed close to the older monster.

He paid no mind to the gooey mess he'd have to wash off later.

"i don't care what was or wasn't done to make this happen, G... i just want to help..." Sans insisted, and Gaster sighed, a little shakily.

"There's...there's just no _time_..." He said, a desperate, sad edge to his voice that had Sans' soul clenching painfully for him.

He took a shot in the dark, though it was a pretty educated shot, at this point. "will you be disappearing soon?" He asked, a little somberly, and Gaster gave him a look of shock. "don't look so surprised when you're the one going on about the void and landing here, in this timeline. my Gaster is at his promotional ceremony...i saw the TV broadcast. that makes you..."

Gaster slumped over sadly. "A fake."

Sans' expression twisted to a mix of amusement and pity. "i was gonna say a visitor," He corrected, and Gaster cracked the tiniest of smiles. Sans considered it a victory. "look, i know this isn't your timeline, and i know you might not have a lot of time left here...so to make it up to you, why don't we go do something you've wanted to do for a while?" Sans suggested, keeping a careful eyelight on the older monster for any signs he'd been too much, again.

He got a soft, happy smile. "We're already doing exactly what I'd want to do..." Gaster admitted, and Sans chuckled.

"what? sitting on a bench talking to me?" Sans joked with a chuckle, though it died off quickly as Gaster reached over and picked him up and pulled him into a tight hug. "...uh...G?"

Gaster hugged him tightly against him ribs, seemingly uncaring of the mess he was making. "If I never got to see you again after today, just knowing that you still care so deeply when you know I'm not even _yours_..." He murmured softly, painfully, between them. "You can't fathom how much happiness you bring me..."

Sans listened intently, though he was at a loss for words for once in his life as he took in the depth of what Gaster was telling him. He understood, but he didn't think he played enough of a role in the busy doctor's life to care about him. He thought about asking if they were better acquainted in his original timeline, but decided it was better left unsaid. Instead, he eagerly hugged him back, _mostly_ because he wanted to help him feel better, but also because it was something he'd wanted to do to thank Gaster but was had unsure if that was okay. He didn't think they knew each other well enough, yet.

This once didn't seem to mind, so Sans hugged him harder.

"Thank you, Sans..." Gaster said as he pressed his teeth to the top of his skull, and Sans felt his skull heat up as he blushed. "I'm so happy I got to see you again..."

Sans thought about that Gaster a lot.

He thought about his sickly grey bones, so dull compared to his own Gaster's stark white form, and about the weird black muck that clung to his body relentlessly, slopping everywhere, how hard that gloop had been to scrub out of his clothes... He thought about how he'd stayed with him until he'd eventually been sucked back into the void, how safe and happy he was, tucked into Gaster's arms.

He felt loved.

And he felt happy that he could make that Gaster happy, even indirectly.

Often times he found himself wondering what new and wonderful timelines he'd found. If it was instantaneous when he faded out of their timeline and popped into someone else's... He hoped so, since the void seemed...horrible.

He hoped that Gaster could get home.

Sans was at a rough crossroads in his life.

His teachers had noticed he'd excelled far beyond the normal level and had offered him to complete his schooling early. Dina was reluctant about it, scared that he'd be too far out of his element without his friends, and Sans wasn't sure how he felt. He thought it was cool that he could get out of early mornings and the gross, awkward coming of age his peers were all going through.

But deep down he knew it led to even more work. And while being ahead might make things go quicker in the long run, he still felt like he had a long way to go. 

He didn't know what to do. And with his mind constantly going back to Gaster, he couldn't do much thinking about it, either.

While he tried not to think about how suspiciously similar his first two encounters with Gaster were to the newest one, his mind wouldn't let it go. He didn't _want_ to think about how the one person he thought he had impressed, had thought he'd really made an impression on, had really been two separate people.

It was almost embarrassing to think that he'd brushed aside such obvious things, like the library Gaster not knowing about the book, or remembering that their first meeting was at the park, just because he was starstruck.

Gaster, or the three of the visiting ones, at least, all seemed to know who he was. He knew that just from how they always looked at him with surprise, then fond familiarity. So he knew that they all knew Sans...somehow... And they all cared for him. Enough that they listened, and enough that they gently steered him.

He scrubbed his hands over his sockets.

It was all too much for him to keep track of.

Papyrus had been a lovely infant. 

As a toddler, however, he was...rambunctious.

Toddler Papyrus was struck with lively inspiration daily. He was a master of something different every day, though most of those things ended horribly for him. But, he had a wonderful sense of what failure meant, and with each failure came a retry that had double the effort from his previous mistake. 

Sans still didn't view failure healthily, and he was older now. It made him all the more proud of his brother. 

His flavor of the day had been Master Chef, but since he was still too young to use the stove top, his creativity was limited to raw ingredients. So, he went with Master Sandwich Chef, and that led to Dina and Sans consuming questionable ingredient combinations at different points within the day. Luckily, their pained expressions were brushed off his shoulder easily. A lesser toddler might've been dejected by their clear disgust, but his brother just beamed at them and thanked them for such passionate responses. 

His brother really was the best.

Sans was a lucky monster.

"So have you put any thought into what you're going to do?" Dina asked gently, and Sans knew without a doubt what she'd asked.

He shrugged, poking at his leftover crust idly. "i want to get it all over with and graduate early," He explained, then huffed a sigh. "-but what if i'm not good enough? what if i get there and it's too advanced and i make look like..." He winced, definitely not wanting to go any further with that mental picture, and Dina gave him a sympathetic smile.

"You can always wait a year to think it over." She suggested, and Sans shot her an indecisive look before she added, "We can visit the college, you can talk to some of the professors there and they can talk about what you can expect from it."

Sans' eyelights shot up to hers, feeling like a whole dreading weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "you...you can do that!?" He asked in disbelief, and Dina chuckled.

"Of course, sweetie! Whenever you're ready, I can call up and arrange a tour and some meetings, don't you worry." She assured him, leaning over to kiss his forehead, and Sans met her halfway to wrap around her in a tight hug.

"thanks, Dina... i think that's exactly what i need..."

Rather than the stress dreams of flunking university in comically horrible ways he'd been having up to date, he started dreaming of Gaster...but... _differently_. Gaster giving him these gentle touches, like entwining their hands or a chaste kiss on the forehead as they poured over notes together, or having lunch together and their gazes meeting across the table with an overwhelming fondness.

He barely gave them a second thought. Especially when he'd wake in the morning craving for a touch he barely knew, and yearning for a man he met three times, and none of them were the same person. He hated thinking about that most, and he hated how every dream made him consider forgetting about that if it meant he could just curl up, safe in Gaster's arms.

Sans had gotten great at pushing things to the back of his mind and ignoring them.

He planned to do exactly that.


End file.
